Bliss Cruise Review: What Worked, What Flopped, What Got Us Naked
Bliss Cruise 2025 brought new owners, a brand-new app, and a whole lot more sexy fun. We’re spilling all the tea on what worked, what flopped, and the wild moments we’ll never forget. Part 1
By: Kat Swings
We just got off the ship. Our tans are fading, our livers are begging for mercy, and our dopamine levels are somewhere on the floor with our dignity and last pair of clean underwear. And let me tell you: six days is NOT enough. Not when you’re surrounded by 3,000 half-naked extroverts from every background, body type, and bed configuration imaginable.
Bliss Cruise 2025 came in hot with new owners, a brand-new app, and a whole new wave of sexy surprises. Spoiler: we’re into it.
All this and more in our most recent episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.
The New Bliss App = Horny Treasure Map
Let’s start with the app. This little piece of code was a gamechanger. You could search by first name or cabin number, which meant that hot couple you made eyes with at the bar? You could actually find them again instead of losing them in a crowd of mesh and body glitter.
The app dropped just days before sailing and was already making magic. We can’t wait to see the updated version in November. Seriously, Bliss—well done. Give us AI matchmaking and we’ll tattoo “I 💙 Bliss” on our lower backs.
Music Variety: Finally, Not All EDM All the Time
Let’s talk about the music, because this was a noticeable shift – and totally for the better. Now, we’re fans of EDM as much as anyone. Hell, we plan to go to EDC, we love a good rave, and glow sticks are basically part of our religion. But let’s be honest – most Bliss guests skew older, and that is not their genre. Many a passenger has whispered (or shouted) the same feedback – hire DJs closer in age to the cruisers and bring music that actually gets the crowd moving.
This year, we did notice more variety – and we’re giving Bliss a big gold ⭐ for that. We tried the country night twice. One was boot-scootin’ pop country fun, and we were into it. The second night? Not so much. Let’s just say Waylon Jennings circa 1970 wasn’t exactly heating up the dance floor. There was also salsa every night, which was spicy and sexy in theory, but mostly left the non-dancers lingering near the bar pretending not to panic.
Dance & Play Events: From Flirty to Filthy
Let’s talk about the Dance & Play events, because YES. These were so good. Bliss reimagined some of the playroom spaces by setting up a DJ, leaving the beds in standby mode, and letting people come in fully clothed for a dance party that turned into a flirtfest that turned into a full-on play session.
We hit two of these and the energy was electric. It was the perfect bridge between bumping hips on the dance floor and bumping… well, hips again. But horizontally.
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Bliss Cruise Part 2
Meet & Greets Got a Glow-Up
One of the most noticeable upgrades this year? Actual Bliss volunteers at the Meet & Greets! Wearing adorable turquoise shirts and clutching name tags like sexy hall monitors, they helped take the awkward edge off. No more wondering who’s here to mingle versus who just wandered in for a vodka soda and ambiance.
But here’s the thing – we need more than just nametags. We need energy. Icebreakers. Playmakers. Someone to grease the wheels of social interaction (not that kind of greasing… well, not yet). What we really need are hype humans—people who gently pull wallflowers into the conversation and spark flirty chaos. Or, you know… just let us host one. Trust: we’ll have that room buzzing, laughing, and half-naked in ten minutes or less.
Fetish Dinner: Fancy, Freaky, and Kind of Tempting
Okay, confession time: we didn’t attend the fetish dinner. But we definitely talked to people who did, and the reviews were glowing like someone had just discovered wax play. Apparently, it was elegant, well-run, and kinky in all the right ways without being cringe.
And listen… we’re not usually the type to pay extra for anything (unless it vibrates and comes with a USB charger), but we’re seriously tempted for next time. If this dinner keeps up the high marks, we may just dust off our latex and go. For us? That’s growth.
Cruise Crushes & Missed-Connections
Every Bliss Cruise has at least one cruise crush. You know exactly who we’re talking about – the flirty couple you kept seeing by the pool but never said hi to… that ridiculously sexy solo guy who locked eyes with you in the hot tub… that unicorn in the silver mesh dress you almost danced with.
Even with the new app, you still gotta shoot your shot. We had a few missed connections ourselves – ones we’ll be kicking ourselves over until next November. So take this as your permission slip for next time. Worst case, they say no. Best case? You end up in a 4-person tangle of hedonistic magic that’ll haunt your dreams in the best possible way. Do it for the future you.
The Post-Bliss Crash Is Brutal
And now, the part no one talks about enough – the crash. One minute you’re wrapped in a cloud of glitter, lube, and connection, surrounded by your favorite sex-positive weirdos… and the next, you’re back in line at Target behind someone arguing about expired coupons and wearing Crocs.
It hits hard. You’re exhausted, touch-starved, possibly hungover for a week—and wondering if any of it was real. So here’s the trick – give yourself grace. Let the crash happen. Eat something green. Snuggle your person. Then start planning the next one.
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
Naughty Links and Extras! (Fun, Irreverent, and Maybe Passably Useful)
Bliss Cruise – NO AFFILIATE LINKS. Buy direct or find a travel agent (same price).
CruiseMapper – Find a sister vanilla ship to throw your friends off the swinging scent and keep your steamy adventures under wraps.
Cruise Drinks Calculator – To figure out if the drinks package is worth it, let this tool do the math for you! It’ll tally up your drink costs and show you what you’d spend without it. Bottoms up!
Royal Caribbean Cruise Deck List – Click here to uncover a super-secret treasure trove of 100s of aggregated user reviews of specific Royal Caribbean cruise line cabins. Find your Cruise Ship (Oasis/ Symphony/ Mariner) and search to see if your cabin has been reviewed.
Celebrity Cruise Deck List – Click here to uncover a super-secret treasure trove of 54 pages of aggregated user reviews of specific Celebrity cruise line cabins. Search the pages for your Cruise Ship class (Reflection/Silhouette) to help you find the best cabin.
Kat's Amazon Wish List
We promise, NO affiliate links...they're so un-F*cking cool!
Non Surge Power Strip – With three AC outlets and two USB ports, this cruise-approved lifesaver keeps all your devices juiced up and ready for fun because your cabin has, like, ONE outlet.
Magnetic Dry Erase Board – Because freebie boards are 3/4 full of travel agent ads. Enjoy a huge blank space for all your steamy slutty notes.
Cruise Luggage Tags – Clear plastic luggage tags to keep your cruise ship tags clean and dry. Be sure they are the RIGHT size for your cruise line. Royal Caribbean is not the same size as Carnival luggage tags, etc… You ONLY need them for luggage, not carryons.
Cruise Lanyard – Because bathing suits don’t have pockets… and neither does sexy wear! Get a plastic sleeved lanyard to hold your Sea Pass Card – your ultimate cruise life accessory! It’s your room key, credit card, proof of a drink package, and ID for getting on and off the ship. OTHER options include a badge holder with carabiner clip OR a handy magnetic wallet phone case.
Mesh Zipper Pouch – Absolute packing lifesavers! Keep your theme outfits and accessories organized to perfection! Water-resistant, sturdy, and easy to label. Better than re-using those flimsy Shein bags! (Might work for your smuggled liquor cache too. Ssssshh!)
Magnetic Hooks – Verdict’s out! Leo said no, Kat said yes. Kat wins!! Magnet hooks were a hit! And we needed more!! Hang your cruise door decorations… wet towels, bathing suits, lanyards.
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