Vanilla Swingers – A swinger podcast for newbies, by newbies in the lifestyle
An erotic fairytale just outside Amsterdam, Fun4Two is the wildest, most over-the-top swinger club we’ve ever seen — themed rooms, spa vibes, and yes, nudity by 11:30 PM. Buckle up, it’s about to get naughty.
Picture a sprawling estate in the Dutch countryside, where you’re expected to be undressed by 11:30 PM and there’s a literal doghouse with a dangling vibrator waiting to greet you. Welcome to Fun4Two, the most extra, audacious, and unapologetically kinky swinger club we’ve ever set foot in — and yes, that includes the one in Paris with the gold stripper pole and disco ball ceiling. Fun4Two isn’t just a club, it’s a damn fantasyland. Think Hogwarts meets Hedonism, but instead of wands, there’s lube. It’s about an hour from Amsterdam and well worth the little road trip detour. If you’re in the Netherlands and feeling a little frisky, this place better be on your bucket list — and by bucket, we mean the one with the massage oil.
Join Kat & Leo as they spill all the juicy details of their Amsterdam Red Light District sexcapades in this can’t-miss episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.
🚗 Distance from Amsterdam – 60 min Uber ride ~75-100€ (or rent a car)
🕓 Nightclub Hours –
Couples Only
Fri – 9:00pm – 3am
Sat – 9:00pm – 4am
Sun – 4:00pm – 11pm
💲 Pricing – unlimited drinks included
👀 First Impressions – From the moment we pulled through the gates, we knew this place was on another level. The estate itself dates back to 1851, and you can feel that old-world grandeur — but with a serious modern kink twist. If you didn’t prepay online (guilty), you’ll be directed into a side room that honestly feels like the coat closet from Narnia. It’s a tiny, unassuming nook where you handwrite your details (hello, year-long membership!) and start to realize that you’re entering somewhere equal parts sexy and surreal. Even from the first few steps past the foyer, the mood is set: dim lighting, sensual energy, and a kind of whispered, knowing vibe in the air. Everyone here looks like they’re in on a delicious secret — and boy, we were ready to crack it wide open.
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🎟️ Inside Tour – Let me tell you — Fun4Two is less of a club and more of a choose-your-own-adventure sex palace. The place is a maze, and that’s not an exaggeration. Everywhere you turn, there’s a new hallway, a new narrow staircase, or a themed room just begging to be explored. We wandered through an Arabian Nights fantasy room draped in fabric, then stumbled into a red-light district replica complete with an actual bike and little red windows that looked straight out of Amsterdam’s De Wallen.
There’s a leopard print room that feels like a love letter to 70s porn, and a BDSM chamber equipped with a St. Andrew’s cross and sex swing that would make Christian Grey blush. There’s even a doghouse with glory holes built into it — yes, a doghouse — where you can crawl in and find a vibrator hanging from the ceiling like some bizarre kinky mistletoe. Every room has a voyeur window or peek-hole, and you never know what you’re going to see next. The whole place is basically an erotic funhouse where each door leads to a new fetish.
👙 Locker Room / Stripdown – Let’s talk about the big strip-down, because at Fun4Two, nudity isn’t just encouraged — it’s scheduled. By 11:30 PM, everyone is expected to be undressed, which sounds intense until you realize how freeing it actually is. The locker room setup is massive — we’re talking 250+ lockers spread across color-coded rooms like Yellow, Pink, and Green, each feeling like its own little prep zone for pleasure. It’s oddly luxurious, like a spa where instead of facials, you’re prepping for fantasies. There’s something wildly sexy about the synchronized undressing — couples slipping into lingerie, boxers, or nothing at all — transforming the crowd from clothed cuties to a sea of glowing, glistening skin. By midnight, the whole club feels like a beautifully curated naked cocktail party, and babe, you are absolutely the main course.
🎵 Bar/Danceclub – Now let’s talk libations. The bar at Fun4Two is fully stocked and entirely included in your entry fee, which already makes it better than most clubs we’ve been to. We’re talking wine, beer, bubbly, spirits, you name it. And the bartenders? Fastest hands in the West, darling. It’s like watching a cocktail shootout at the O.K. Corral, and somehow they always remember your drink. The bar area sits near the center of the action, so it’s where people mix, flirt, and mentally prepare to get naked. The DJ station pumps out a mix of Euro beats and deep house bangers that are just the right amount of thump without being obnoxious. The dance floor isn’t massive, but once that 11:30 undress time hits, it fills with writhing, nude bodies vibing to the music — and honestly, it’s kind of magical.
🍒 Playrooms –The playrooms are where Fun4Two really lives up to its name. The main playroom, which is actually a series of interconnected little spaces, is filled with glory holes, group areas, and furniture that invites you to just… well, try something. This area can feel a little tight in places — think narrow walkways and low ceilings — but that also gives it a steamy, tucked-away feeling, like you’re part of a sexy secret society. One night we played here and while it wasn’t our favorite room, it definitely got the job done with a few lusty voyeurs watching.
The Dutch Village play area, though, stole our hearts (and our inhibitions). It’s built like a little street scene with faux houses, red lights, and themed BDSM gear in every “home.” One moment we were giggling about how cute it looked, the next we were restrained against a metal cage. That’s the kind of whiplash we’re here for. And then — oh god, then — there’s the Wet Area and Tantric Tent, which is through a glass door with literal dick handles. Cross the bridge and it’s like entering an entirely new world. It’s quiet, dimly lit, filled with open beds and soft moaning, with massage oil and towels everywhere. We almost missed this part on our first visit and I’m still mad about it. It’s romantic, sensual, and absolutely soaked in sex energy.
💦 Spa/Sauna – Now if you’re thinking the party stops at the playrooms, think again. The spa and sauna area looks like something ripped out of Greek mythology. We’re talking a massive bubbling jacuzzi that could host an orgy of gods and goddesses, flanked by moody lighting and sauna rooms that beg for steamy, slippery moments. It’s surprisingly zen back here — less moaning, more murmuring — and it’s where couples go to wind down… or gear up for round two. The amenities are top-tier, the towels are always stocked, and it never feels too crowded. Honestly, it might be one of the sexiest “quiet areas” we’ve ever experienced in a club.
🍽️ Buffet – Welcome to the only buffet in the world where you can grab a skewer, grill your own meat, and still leave room for dessert and an orgy. The self-service restaurant at Fun4Two is part sensual dining hall, part voyeur lounge — with a front-row view of the dance floor and a prime spot for scoping out your next playmate between bites. Every weekend brings a new themed menu, and we’re not talking basic buffet fare. Fresh salads, sizzling meats, decadent desserts — all whipped up daily with actual love (from the chef, not your last play partner). You can eat as much as you want, as often as you want, but just remember: no towels, no sex, and yes, clean up your damn plate like the respectful hedonist you are. It’s swingers’ etiquette with a side of steak tartare, darling.
🌳 Outdoors – The outdoor area is straight-up dreamy, with lush landscaping and manicured lawns that stretch out from the main estate. It feels more like a wedding venue than a swingers club until you realize there’s probably at least one couple getting freaky behind those hedges. We didn’t get to explore too much outside since we visited in colder weather, but we’ve heard the summer pool parties here are legendary — and judging by the rest of the place, we believe it. We’ll be back when the sun’s out and the bodies are glistening.
🔥 Vibe Check – Let’s talk crowd, shall we? Fun4Two draws a sexy, fun, no-pressure kind of guest list. It’s couples-only (with a few single ladies), and everyone is expected to be respectful, clean, and — by 11:30 — naked. We went on Gigolo Night, where about 15 solo guys in black bow ties were tastefully sprinkled throughout the crowd like little treats. Honestly, they were hot, polite, and well-received, which says a lot about the vibe this club curates. People here are down-to-earth, flirty without being pushy, and clearly just loving the freedom to be their deliciously slutty selves. You’ll find all body types, all kinks, all levels of experience — and it works. It feels inclusive, sexy, and safe. A total 10/10 for vibe.
✅ Would we go back? – Let me say it louder for the people in the back: YES. Yes, we would go back in a heartbeat. Honestly, we’re a little obsessed. It’s not every day you find a club that blends fantasy, freedom, and flawless execution like this. From the elaborate theme rooms to the Greek-god jacuzzi to the fact that you can sip prosecco completely nude in a mini Dutch alley — Fun4Two is what swinger dreams are made of. If you’re in Amsterdam (or anywhere remotely close) and looking for something unforgettable, rent a car, grab your towel, and don’t be late for the 11:30 undress deadline. You’ll thank us later.
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
Fun4Two: A legendary Dutch swinger paradise near Amsterdam, with themed rooms, a sexy spa, and scheduled nudity in a labyrinth of sensual surprises.
Fata Morgana: Sleek, stylish, and oh-so-Euro. This upscale Dutch club mixes high-end ambiance with wild play spaces and an anything-goes attitude.
Sameplace: Amsterdam’s cozy, urban swinger lounge with a laid-back crowd, casual vibes, and a basement that knows exactly why you’re here.
Voyeurism: The art of peeking behind closed doors, where watching becomes the sexiest form of foreplay. A practice in which individuals derive sexual pleasure from observing others engaging in intimate activities.
Exhibitionism: Putting on a show that would make Vegas blush, because why keep all that steamy action to yourself? The act of deriving sexual gratification from exposing one’s own body or engaging in sexual activities in front of others, often for the purpose of arousal or thrill.
Swingers Club: The playground of pleasure, where fantasies come to life and every night is a tantalizing adventure. A dedicated venue or establishment where individuals or couples within the swinging community gather to socialize, explore their sexuality, and engage in consensual sexual activities with other like-minded individuals.
Playroom: The adult’s version of a candy store, where toys, tools, and tantalizing treats await – because who says pleasure is just for kids? A designated space within a swinger’s venue equipped with various toys, equipment, and furnishings for sexual exploration and enjoyment.
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