Vanilla Swingers – A swinger podcast for newbies, by newbies in the lifestyle

Swinging Pitfalls Exposed: What They Don’t Tell You

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Get ready to take off those rose-colored glasses as we dive deep into the saucy, spicy, and sometimes sticky world of swinging. Join Kat & Leo as we reveal the juicy pitfalls and unexpected drama that come with sharing your partner in the lifestyle.

By: Kat Swings

So, you’ve decided to dive into the thrilling world of the swinging lifestyle. Kudos to you! Ethical non-monogamy can be a fantastic adventure filled with new connections and experiences. But before you start swinging from the chandeliers, let’s talk about some potential pitfalls you might encounter. After all, it’s not all rainbows and butterflies, it’s also rough patches and prickly thorns. Swinger beware! Join Kat & Leo as they share the top 5 swinging pitfalls in the latest episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.

1. Lack of Communication: The Silent Killer

You know that old saying, “communication is key”? It’s basically the Bible of the swinging lifestyle. Lack of communication can turn a sexy soirée into a nightmare faster than you can say, “Whose panties are these?” Clear, honest, and continuous conversations with your partner and swinging buddies are crucial. Discuss boundaries, expectations, and feelings regularly. Without this, you might find yourself in some sticky situations— and not the fun kind. Share, share, overshare!

2. Jealousy: The Green-Eyed Monster

Ah, jealousy. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Even in the most secure relationships, the swinging lifestyle can bring out the green-eyed monster. Seeing your partner enjoy someone else can stir unexpected emotions. The trick? Recognize it, talk about it, and don’t let it fester. Remember, the goal is fun for everyone, not an emotional meltdown.

3. Catching the Feels: More Than Just a Fling

Swinging is supposed to be about physical connections, right? Well, sometimes the heart has its own plans. Catching feelings, or “catching the feels,” can complicate things. If you or your partner develop deeper emotions for a swinging partner, it can lead to drama and confusion. Keep an eye on those fluttery feelings and address them early to keep things fun, casual, and transactional!

4. Wife Poaching: Unleash Leo's Wrath

In the swinging world, “wife poaching” is a serious faux pas. It’s when someone tries to lure your wife away for solo play or, worse, into a full-on affair. Not cool! Swinging should enhance your relationship, not threaten it. If you suspect someone’s trying to poach your partner, address it directly and set firm boundaries. Trust and respect are non-negotiable.

5. Catfishing, Ghosting, Fakes & Flakes: Digital Dangers

In this digital age, not everyone is who they claim to be. Catfishing (pretending to be someone else online), ghosting (disappearing without a trace), and dealing with fakes and flakes are all part of the swinging scene. Protect yourself by verifying identities, meeting in public places first, and trusting your gut. No one wants to be left high and dry—or worse, scammed.


The swinging lifestyle can be a blast, but like any adventure, it comes with potential pitfalls. By staying communicative, being aware of your emotions, setting boundaries, and protecting yourself online, you can navigate these challenges like a pro. Happy swinging!

Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!

Naughty Links and Extras! (Fun, Irreverent, and Maybe Passably Useful)

Kat's Amazon Wish List

We promise, NO affiliate links...they're so un-F*cking cool!

Non Surge Power Strip – With three AC outlets and two USB ports, this cruise-approved lifesaver keeps all your devices juiced up and ready for fun because your cabin has, like, ONE outlet.

Magnetic Dry Erase Board – Because freebie boards are 3/4 full of travel agent ads. Enjoy a huge blank space for all your steamy slutty notes.

Cruise Luggage Tags – Clear plastic luggage tags to keep your cruise ship tags clean and dry. Be sure they are the RIGHT size for your cruise line. Royal Caribbean is not the same size as Carnival luggage tags, etc… You ONLY need them for luggage, not carryons.

Cruise LanyardBecause bathing suits don’t have pockets… and neither does sexy wear! Get a plastic sleeved lanyard to hold your Sea Pass Card – your ultimate cruise life accessory! It’s your room key, credit card, proof of a drink package, and ID for getting on and off the ship. OTHER options include a badge holder with carabiner clip OR a handy magnetic wallet phone case.

Mesh Zipper PouchAbsolute packing lifesavers! Keep your theme outfits and accessories organized to perfection! Water-resistant, sturdy, and easy to label. Better than re-using those flimsy Shein bags!

Magnetic HooksVerdict’s out! Leo said no, Kat said yes. Kat wins!! Magnet hooks were a hit! And we needed more!! Hang your cruise door decorations… wet towels, bathing suits, lanyards.