Vanilla Swingers – A swinger podcast for newbies, by newbies in the lifestyle

Ahoy, Swingers! Bliss Cruise Checklist - Setting Sail with 3000 Naughty Sailors

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Join Kat & Leo as they prepare to set sail on their first Bliss Cruise, where 3000 sexy swingers await to turn the open sea into a floating orgy of delight. Before embarking on this steamy Love Boat, it’s time to get ship-shape with a pre-boarding checklist!

By: Kat Swings

Welcome aboard the Bliss Swingers Cruise, where over 3000 adventurous souls are set to embark on a journey of tantalizing experiences and boundless exploration! With the sea as your playground and like-minded individuals as your companions, get ready to indulge in a week-long hedonistic escapade unlike any other. Join Kat & Leo as they make sure you’re fully equipped with this spicy checklist for the Bliss Cruise in this episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast!

”On a 5-day trip where clothing is practically optional, who knew you needed to pack so much?”

1. Bliss Cruise Theme Nights

Get ready to tantalize the senses and unleash your inner fantasies with a lineup of sultry theme nights! Themes range from formal to sexy and everything in between, without a whole lot of overlap on consecutive cruises. Over 85% of Bliss cruisers come loaded for bear.  Themes for April & November 2024, for example, include:

  • Barbie Dreamhouse Pink
  • Leather and Lace Fetish Night
  • Friday Night Lights
  • High School Flashback
  • Red Carpet Formal
  • Superheroes vs. Villains
  • Glow Night
  • Under the Sea
  • Famous Couples

Whatever you do, dress up! It can be casual or over the top – but DRESS UP! We promise you’ll thank us.

2. Drink Package or Not?

Ah, the eternal conundrum of whether to splurge on the lavish drink package or pay as you go? Or do you sneak aboard your favorite libations? Amazon’s overflowing with options – think fake shampoo and conditioner bottles, empty sunscreen containers, and discreet bladder flasks. To each their own. YMMV. Make sure to try the handy Cruise Drink Calculator below to gauge your spending based on your level of liquid courage debauchery. Bottoms ups! 

3. Helloooooooo? On-board Cruise Communication

In a sea of like-minded souls, the key to unlocking new connections lies in clear and open communication. Whether you’re exchanging sultry glances across the deck, leaving discreet messages on whiteboards, or boldly flaunting your desires with personalized “slut cards,” finding your perfect match is all about putting yourself out there. To Wifi or not Wifi? Stay connected with fellow cruisers through paid Wi-Fi if you want or via the on-board messaging app. Pro tip? If you find someone you like, seal the deal NOW!

4. Amazon Cruise Essentials

Don’t forget your cruise magnets, luggage tags, Sea Pass lanyards, and cruise-approved extension outlet (non-surge protector) to ensure you’re fully equipped for the journey ahead. These small details ensure that your journey is as smooth as it is seductive. Leave the extension cords, irons, and steamers at home!

What NOT to bring!

5. Cruise Door Decorating 101

Let your cabin door be the talk of the ship by adorning it with daring decorations that embody your adventurous soul. Whether it’s cheeky signs or tantalizing ornaments, unleash your inner sexy creativity and set the tone for a voyage filled with excitement and passion. Display your whiteboard to invite steamy notes from visitors or showcase photos of yourselves, but remember to keep them PG to respect nudity laws in the hallways. Let your imagination run wild within the boundaries of sensuality, ensuring your display adds to the allure of your cabin without crossing any lines.

6. Which Playrooms Are On Board?

In the early days, you might find yourself slipping in a few dirty jokes here and there, just to see who’s paying attention. And trust us, nothing beats the thrill of keeping your vanilla life and swinging adventures separate – from planning fake cruise schedules to snapping those perfectly vanilla photos for the family album. So, grab your secret phone, perfect your poker face, and get ready to dive into the tantalizing world of discreet swinging!

7. Pre-Cruise Meet & Greet or Not?

Before you even set foot onboard, the excitement and anticipation are already palpable as you mingle with fellow cruisers at the pre-cruise meet-n-greet. It’s a chance to break the ice, forge new connections, and stoke the flames of desire before the real adventure begins. So, grab a drink, strike up a conversation, and let the anticipation build as you count down the minutes until you’re sailing into debauchery.

8. Discretion is Key:

As you revel in the uninhibited wonders of the Bliss Cruise, remember that discretion is paramount for most on the ship! Choose a sister vanilla ship as your cover story from the handy link below, weaving a web of white lies to conceal the tantalizing truth of your seafaring adventures. After all, some secrets are best kept between consenting adults, leaving the rest of the world to wonder what truly happens when the ship sets sail into the night.

Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!

Naughty Links and Extras! (Fun, Irreverent, and Maybe Passably Useful)

Bliss Cruise – NO AFFILIATE LINKS. Buy direct or find a travel agent (same price).

CruiseMapper – Find a sister vanilla ship to throw your friends off the swinging scent and keep your steamy adventures under wraps.

Cruise Drinks Calculator – To figure out if the drinks package is worth it, let this tool do the math for you! It’ll tally up your drink costs and show you what you’d spend without it. Bottoms up!


Amazon Wish List

We promise, NO affiliate links...they're so un-F*cking cool!

Cruise Luggage Tags – Clear plastic luggage tags to keep your cruise ship tags clean and dry. Be sure they are the RIGHT size for your cruise line. Royal Caribbean is not the same size as Carnival luggage tags, etc… You ONLY need them for luggage, not carryons.

Cruise Lanyard – Because bathing suits and your birthday suit don’t have pockets… and neither does sexy wear! Get a plastic sleeved lanyard to hold your Sea Pass Card – your ultimate cruise life accessory! It’s your room key, credit card, proof of a drink package, and ID for getting on and off the ship. OTHER options include a badge holder with carabiner clip OR a handy magnetic wallet phone case.

Mesh Zipper Pouch – Absolute packing lifesavers! Keep your theme outfits and accessories organized to perfection! Water-resistant, sturdy, and easy to label. Better than re-using those flimsy Shein bags!

Magnetic Hooks – The verdict’s pending on these. Leo says no, Kat says yes. Jury is out. Thinking to hang our cruise door decorations… wet towels, bathing suits, lanyards.

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