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Why is Girl on Girl Hot, Guy on Guy Not? Lifestyle Contradictions

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Join Kat & Leo as we discuss the many curious contradictions and glaring hypocrisies found in the lifestyle… From why girl-on-girl play is hot, but guy-on-guy play is not? To the sexy double standard that women for women in the LS… plus how come the swingers don’t like the polys?

By: Kat Swings

In the world of ethical non-monogamy, where boundaries are pushed and norms are challenged, contradictions lurk in the shadows, waiting to be discovered. Join Kat & Leo as they delve into the saucy underbelly of the Lifestyle and uncover the paradoxes that keep it tantalizingly complex in this episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.

Girl-on-Girl Hot, Guy-on-Guy Not

Picture this: a sizzling scene of girl-on-girl action ignites applause and admiration, while the mere mention of guy-on-guy play elicits uncomfortable shifts and raised eyebrows. It’s a perplexing double standard that begs the question: why is one form of expression celebrated while the other is frowned upon? Isn’t hotness subjective, regardless of gender?

However the unspoken rule in the swinging world, is that bisexual women are revered while bi-men are barely tolerated. Most bi-men tend to keep their tendencies in the closet, for fear of censure. It’s largely a hetero-fest for men, while women are encouraged to be heteroflexible. This lack of inclusivity perpetuates the heteronormative mindset that dominates the lifestyle, stifling true diversity and expression.

But maybe that has more to do with the next contradiction….

Traditional Values vs. Freaky Fridays

In the lifestyle, you’ll find a curious juxtaposition of traditional family values and unapologetic hedonism. The party of family values reigns supreme in the lifestyle. While it may seem like a more liberal minded demographic would dominate the lifestyle, the vast majority of couples come from traditional family structures.  So curious enough, many couples may spend their Sundays in pious reverence at church, only to unleash their wild sides come Friday night. 

But what drives this curious dynamic? Perhaps it’s the allure of forbidden fruit, the tantalizing prospect of exploring realms outside the confines of societal norms. After all, isn’t there something thrilling about indulging in pleasures that are deemed taboo by the outside world?

Yet, amidst the hedonistic parties, echoes of tradition linger. It’s a delicate dance between the old and the new, the familiar and the unknown.

Male-Dominated Male-Centric Lifestyle

In the tantalizing world of the Lifestyle, where boundaries blur and fantasies run wild, there’s a simmering undercurrent that challenges the notion of female dominance. Despite the chatter about women ruling the roost, it often feels like the game is rigged in favor of the male gaze, leaving many of us feeling like mere pawns in a male-centric chess match.

Sure, women may hold the keys to unlocking sexual encounters, but scratch beneath the surface, and you’ll find a landscape dominated by male desires and fantasies. How many times have we heard tales of women “taking one for the team” while their male counterparts sit pretty? It’s a scenario as old as time, where women are expected to play the role of fantasy fulfillers while men call the shots. 

Scantily Clad Women Wanted!

Ah, the age-old dilemma of the dress code: women are expected to flaunt their curves in the skimpiest of outfits, while men can get away with throwing on a pair of trusty cargo shorts or, at best, a nice dress shirt and trousers. It’s as if the fashion police have issued a gendered decree, leaving women to navigate a maze of revealing attire while men stroll through with minimal effort.

Again this harkens back to the swinging world being dominated by the male gaze, so the burden of sexiness continues to fall on her shoulders.

“And women will likely continue to have to ‘take one for the team.'”

Swingers vs. Polys: West Side Story of ENM

Within the realm of ethical non-monogamy (ENM), you’d think camaraderie would reign supreme. After all, swingers as a whole are friendly, welcoming and the nicest people you’ll ever meet. Alas, even in paradise, there’s discord. Swingers and polys eye each other warily, each camp fiercely protective of their own territory. But what fuels this rivalry? Is it mere differences in approach, or is there something deeper at play?

Polyamory thrives on steamy emotional connections and the thrill of adding extra partners to already solid relationships, while swinging is all about satisfying primal desires with passionate encounters between committed partners. It’s a sultry tango of love and lust versus a fiery romp of pure sexual exploration.

Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!

Naughty Links and Extras! (Fun, Irreverent, and Maybe Passably Useful)

Swinger definitions mentioned in this post:

Ethical Non-Monogamy: The golden rule of the swinging world, where trust, honesty, and communication reign supreme in the pursuit of pleasure. This relationship model is characterized by mutual consent, honesty, and communication, allowing individuals to engage in romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners while prioritizing respect and emotional well-being.

Hetero Flexible: A saucy term for those who usually swing one way but are open to bending the rules for the right playdate! Referring to individuals primarily attracted to the opposite gender but open to occasional same-sex encounters

Heteronormative: A term describing the societal expectation that heterosexuality is the default or normal sexual orientation. Society’s way of saying ‘straight is the default,’ like it’s the only vanilla flavor on the menu.

Taking one for the team: Graciously engaging with a partner you might not be particularly attracted to in order to ensure everyone in the group gets some action. It’s like being the MVP of the game, sacrificing your personal preferences for the greater good of the team’s pleasure!

Polyamory / Poly: Love without limits, where relationships bloom like wildflowers and hearts are free to roam. A relationship orientation involving the capacity for or openness to having multiple romantic partners simultaneously, characterized by deep emotional attachments.

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